I have decided that blogging is basically free therapy. Getting it all out there is cathartic. I tried to use facebook as an outlet, but there are only so many times you can post bizarre stories about declaring war with the laundry and how heavily interested your 4 year old is in his penis before someone threatens to call Child Protection on you. So, thanks HMO for making it virtually impossible for me to get real therapy and on with the blog.
2 nights ago, we were all sitting in the living room watching a movie when I noticed Matthew zipping up his jammies. I asked him what was he doing and he replied in a matter of fact tone, "Doing my Penis". In an attempt to suppress laughter from the 13 year old, I quickly said, "Oh, OK" trying to end the subject but he continued with, "sometimes it goes up". I shot a stern look at Skylar and shushed Chris so everyone would keep a straight face to avoid laughing as I am acutely aware that my faulty gene pool already pre-disposes my children to serial killer tendencies, I certainly do not want an altered memory of the whole family laughing at Matthew's penis to increase the odds.
This leads me to my question... Good Lord, what is it with the penis? I know grown men are completely obsessed with it, but babies too? How do they know? It's not like he knows at this age what is does or that it is anything other than a body part. The kids do not sit around rubbing their noses or fingers. Maybe they think it is magic because it goes up and down and makes pee. The magic penis?
I don't know if Skylar and I are going to survive all this testosterone.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Saturday, July 18, 2009
The Zoo -- again
It's like we really can't visit the zoo without incident. Either mating turtles or a child running away. Today it was attack of the Canadian geese.
I took Skylar, Matthew, and William -- Chris was conveniently working. We get some food and Skylar and I sit on a shady bench. The boys happily remained in the double stroller (which in and of itself is a small miracle) while we ate.
Matthew actually ate a hot dog with a bun -- 1st time and little William was holding the hot dog in a fist eating it much like a caveman would. Soon, a goose came up with some straggler ducks and a family of a mom and 3 baby peacocks. They were so cute so I tossed them some bread of the hot dog bun William was not eating. Then about 5 of the biggest, fattest geese I have ever seen descended upon us, hissing and making whatever kind of ugly honk sound they make, so I shooed them away and sat back down when all of a sudden, William screams.
One of the geese stuck his head under the front drink holder of the stroller and snatched his entire basket of french fries. Victory for the geese, all of them surrounded the stroller, eating fries and taunting the children. William was just screaming and Matthew was climbing out of the stroller clutching his soft pretzel -- crying at the top of his lungs "MOMMY, MAKE THE GEESE GO AWAY" over and over. People were gathering around and watching in horror as I was shooing geese away with one foot while trying to pack up the food. Skylar finally just took the stroller with the boys away while I cleaned up.
So of all the cool animals we saw at the zoo, all the boys could talk about were the awful geese -- Oh, and the Peeing Ostrich.
I love the zoo.
I took Skylar, Matthew, and William -- Chris was conveniently working. We get some food and Skylar and I sit on a shady bench. The boys happily remained in the double stroller (which in and of itself is a small miracle) while we ate.
Matthew actually ate a hot dog with a bun -- 1st time and little William was holding the hot dog in a fist eating it much like a caveman would. Soon, a goose came up with some straggler ducks and a family of a mom and 3 baby peacocks. They were so cute so I tossed them some bread of the hot dog bun William was not eating. Then about 5 of the biggest, fattest geese I have ever seen descended upon us, hissing and making whatever kind of ugly honk sound they make, so I shooed them away and sat back down when all of a sudden, William screams.
One of the geese stuck his head under the front drink holder of the stroller and snatched his entire basket of french fries. Victory for the geese, all of them surrounded the stroller, eating fries and taunting the children. William was just screaming and Matthew was climbing out of the stroller clutching his soft pretzel -- crying at the top of his lungs "MOMMY, MAKE THE GEESE GO AWAY" over and over. People were gathering around and watching in horror as I was shooing geese away with one foot while trying to pack up the food. Skylar finally just took the stroller with the boys away while I cleaned up.
So of all the cool animals we saw at the zoo, all the boys could talk about were the awful geese -- Oh, and the Peeing Ostrich.
I love the zoo.
Skylar and the broken nose
So our little Skylar has returned to us after being gone for 2 years. We are so happy to have her back. She arrived June 25 and we have been having so much fun.
The other night, we were watching a movie and it got a little boring so I got up and started folding laundry -- my nemesis-- and Skylar was watching the movie but lying on her back balancing one of those toddler sized folding chairs on her feet when all of a sudden I hear -- crash -- OOWWW!!. I ran over and see Skylar holding her nose. Yup, she managed to drop a chair on her face. After ice and Tylenol, the pain was still very extreme, so off to the ER we go.
When we get into triage, the nurse, a very large bald man was doing our intake and he asked "what happened?" and with all the seriousness in the world, she looks at him with this sweet face and says... "I dropped a chair on it". The nurse busted out laughing. He could not stop, which of course made me and Skylar laugh. Each time she laughed it hurt so it was laugh -- ouch, laugh -- ouch.
So she went to X-ray and sure enough, she fractured her nose. Thank God it was a clean break, a very small crack, but broken.
We love out little clutz :)
The other night, we were watching a movie and it got a little boring so I got up and started folding laundry -- my nemesis-- and Skylar was watching the movie but lying on her back balancing one of those toddler sized folding chairs on her feet when all of a sudden I hear -- crash -- OOWWW!!. I ran over and see Skylar holding her nose. Yup, she managed to drop a chair on her face. After ice and Tylenol, the pain was still very extreme, so off to the ER we go.
When we get into triage, the nurse, a very large bald man was doing our intake and he asked "what happened?" and with all the seriousness in the world, she looks at him with this sweet face and says... "I dropped a chair on it". The nurse busted out laughing. He could not stop, which of course made me and Skylar laugh. Each time she laughed it hurt so it was laugh -- ouch, laugh -- ouch.
So she went to X-ray and sure enough, she fractured her nose. Thank God it was a clean break, a very small crack, but broken.
We love out little clutz :)
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Emergency Room
Now, I know that I am an intelligent human being with a college degree and work in the medical profession. I am also a mom. Up until a few days ago, I thought those two states of being were melded into one person. I quickly realized that there is a point in time were all reason and thought fly out the window and the mom part takes over your brain. Here is my story.
I picked up the kids from daycare and was told that William had somehow hurt his finger on a crib rail during a fire drill, it bled for a minute but was OK. He had a small bandaid on the finger and seemed fine, I was not overly concerned. We got home and he became increasingly fussy, crying and refusing to eat. He was holding up his finger and saying "Mama, mama". I took a closer look at the finger and saw it was swollen and red, then the band aid came off. (This is where rational thought left). I saw blood, lots and lots of blood and a hunk of skin hanging off his finger. Off the the emergency room we went.
By the time we get there and the triage nurse admits William to the ER, rational thought and sanity slowly begin to return and I realize that I have completely overreacted, William is fine by this point and I can assess the damage. Yes he had a deep cut, but NOT ER worthy.
As I begin to feel really stupid, the doors burst open and this woman having a heart attack comes in receiving full CPR. So right next to us, separated by a curtain, a full code with paddles and intubation.
At this point, I not only feel stupid, but sorry that we are taking up time from all these doctors and nurses. So in the midst of all this chaos, the doctor comes in and I looked up at him and said "my son has a boo boo, It really looked a lot worse at home". He laughed and said all the right things. Evidently it was a very bad skin tear and would have required stitches if there was enough skin left on the stitch. So I felt better about going to the ER, but not much.
William's finger is healing nicely, but my pride is still a little injured:)
I picked up the kids from daycare and was told that William had somehow hurt his finger on a crib rail during a fire drill, it bled for a minute but was OK. He had a small bandaid on the finger and seemed fine, I was not overly concerned. We got home and he became increasingly fussy, crying and refusing to eat. He was holding up his finger and saying "Mama, mama". I took a closer look at the finger and saw it was swollen and red, then the band aid came off. (This is where rational thought left). I saw blood, lots and lots of blood and a hunk of skin hanging off his finger. Off the the emergency room we went.
By the time we get there and the triage nurse admits William to the ER, rational thought and sanity slowly begin to return and I realize that I have completely overreacted, William is fine by this point and I can assess the damage. Yes he had a deep cut, but NOT ER worthy.
As I begin to feel really stupid, the doors burst open and this woman having a heart attack comes in receiving full CPR. So right next to us, separated by a curtain, a full code with paddles and intubation.
At this point, I not only feel stupid, but sorry that we are taking up time from all these doctors and nurses. So in the midst of all this chaos, the doctor comes in and I looked up at him and said "my son has a boo boo, It really looked a lot worse at home". He laughed and said all the right things. Evidently it was a very bad skin tear and would have required stitches if there was enough skin left on the stitch. So I felt better about going to the ER, but not much.
William's finger is healing nicely, but my pride is still a little injured:)
Friday, January 23, 2009
Finally back.
As I finally log onto this blog because I am determined to update it, I read the last entry from October and realize that I have mode absolutely no potty progress. Matthew is now scared of the potty. I think we need professional assistance.
I have so many blog posts running through my head, there is no way to recap the past 3 months. Chris definitely wants me to mention the mating turtles at the zoo, which was amusing.
I do want to mention the reason I stopped blogging and the reason is I was turned on to Facebook by Britt. My dear, dear friend Britt who mistakenly thought I was as good a multi tasker as she. Britt successfully manages 2 children (albeit girls who ARE easier then boys), facebook, and blogspot. I humbly admit, I can not.
I can at least talk about Christmas. This year, we again set out to terrorize Santa at the Moorestown mall. If anyone is not familiar with our first mission to ensure Santa never returns to NJ, please refer to last December's post.
Of course, this year, William is heavily involved in the plot. Christopher, however, escaped, claiming work. He left me and his mother alone to manage the carnage.
Much like last year, all was wonderful as we sneakily approached the unsuspecting Santa. We were all Ho-Ho-Ho and counting in Spanish. As I placed William on Santa's lap, all hell broke loose. William immediately began screaming and reaching for me as I chased Matthew around the cameras. I picked up Matthew and he played my favorite game "No bones - No muscles". You know the game where the child goes totally limp and you can't control all the flailing body parts.
So this year, Santa is smiling (well, actually laughing at me), and both kids are screaming and I am in the picture ... which will not be posted.
I have so many blog posts running through my head, there is no way to recap the past 3 months. Chris definitely wants me to mention the mating turtles at the zoo, which was amusing.
I do want to mention the reason I stopped blogging and the reason is I was turned on to Facebook by Britt. My dear, dear friend Britt who mistakenly thought I was as good a multi tasker as she. Britt successfully manages 2 children (albeit girls who ARE easier then boys), facebook, and blogspot. I humbly admit, I can not.
I can at least talk about Christmas. This year, we again set out to terrorize Santa at the Moorestown mall. If anyone is not familiar with our first mission to ensure Santa never returns to NJ, please refer to last December's post.
Of course, this year, William is heavily involved in the plot. Christopher, however, escaped, claiming work. He left me and his mother alone to manage the carnage.
Much like last year, all was wonderful as we sneakily approached the unsuspecting Santa. We were all Ho-Ho-Ho and counting in Spanish. As I placed William on Santa's lap, all hell broke loose. William immediately began screaming and reaching for me as I chased Matthew around the cameras. I picked up Matthew and he played my favorite game "No bones - No muscles". You know the game where the child goes totally limp and you can't control all the flailing body parts.
So this year, Santa is smiling (well, actually laughing at me), and both kids are screaming and I am in the picture ... which will not be posted.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Potty Time
So we have been toying with the whole potty training deal, encouraging, but not pushing or forcing the potty issue as to not scar Matthew for life and turn him into a deranged serial killer. These How to raise your child type books are pretty harsh. I mean it. If your child turns out crazy, they make no bones about it totally being because you did not give him that damn balloon or take him to Arby's once.
Anyway, he has sporadically gone on the potty, will sit for long amounts of time, then get up and pee or poop in his diaper. Quite frustrating.
So out new daycare tells us that they have a fool proof potty training method, they have adopted this method after consulting with a child psychologist and once the child shows the "right" amount of interest in the potty, he will be placed on "potty patrol" and will be trained within 10 easy days.
This sounds GREAT!!!
So, I get a letter home in Matthew's packet informing me that Matthew has shown interest in the potty and is now ready. (The interest by the way was harassing his friend Dylan while Dylan was pottying and trying to pull Dylan off of the potty to keep playing). Again, I digress.
So in this letter, it tells me specifically what I will need to bring to school for this program. The items needed are as follows:
3 shirts
3 pairs of pants
5 pairs of socks
10 pairs of underwear, and
1 extra pair of shoes.
It became very evident that the child psychologist formulated potty patrol plan is to let the child pee and poop all over the place until he decides to use the potty.
I asked the teacher if that was about right and she shrugged and said "well, I guess that's one way to put it". At least it's there and not here.
Tonight before bedtime I found myself sitting on the edge of the bathtub singing songs about "poop goes in the potty" and "like to poop poop poop ... in the potty".
I need wine.
Anyway, he has sporadically gone on the potty, will sit for long amounts of time, then get up and pee or poop in his diaper. Quite frustrating.
So out new daycare tells us that they have a fool proof potty training method, they have adopted this method after consulting with a child psychologist and once the child shows the "right" amount of interest in the potty, he will be placed on "potty patrol" and will be trained within 10 easy days.
This sounds GREAT!!!
So, I get a letter home in Matthew's packet informing me that Matthew has shown interest in the potty and is now ready. (The interest by the way was harassing his friend Dylan while Dylan was pottying and trying to pull Dylan off of the potty to keep playing). Again, I digress.
So in this letter, it tells me specifically what I will need to bring to school for this program. The items needed are as follows:
3 shirts
3 pairs of pants
5 pairs of socks
10 pairs of underwear, and
1 extra pair of shoes.
It became very evident that the child psychologist formulated potty patrol plan is to let the child pee and poop all over the place until he decides to use the potty.
I asked the teacher if that was about right and she shrugged and said "well, I guess that's one way to put it". At least it's there and not here.
Tonight before bedtime I found myself sitting on the edge of the bathtub singing songs about "poop goes in the potty" and "like to poop poop poop ... in the potty".
I need wine.
William's birthday
So 10-23 was Liam's first birthday. We were in New Orleans the week before and decided to have a small birthday party for him. This rapidly turned into a large baby blow out complete with Space Walk (which incidentally Northerners call a Moon Bounce and look at you funny when you say space walk), small blow up ball pit, Saint's game on the big screen TV and all the BBQ you can eat.
We had lots of fun. Liam did not want to stick his fingers in his piece of cake and rejected it when we offered him some. This is in direct contrast to Matthew who immediately began jumping up and down chanting "Cake, cake, cake" when the cake was brought out, proudly wore his safari party hat, sang "Happy Birthday" but replaced William's name with his own, assisted with blowing out the candles, and ate so much cake throughout the day he honestly pooped blue the next day (from the icing).
I will post pictures when I'm not feeling quite so lazy. William is currently sick so today has been somewhat stressful.
We had lots of fun. Liam did not want to stick his fingers in his piece of cake and rejected it when we offered him some. This is in direct contrast to Matthew who immediately began jumping up and down chanting "Cake, cake, cake" when the cake was brought out, proudly wore his safari party hat, sang "Happy Birthday" but replaced William's name with his own, assisted with blowing out the candles, and ate so much cake throughout the day he honestly pooped blue the next day (from the icing).
I will post pictures when I'm not feeling quite so lazy. William is currently sick so today has been somewhat stressful.
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